Friday, March 08, 2013

Can't We All Just Get Along?



Someone I know (whom I usually see two or three times a year) is not speaking to me.  Two of her children have blocked me (and most of my immediate family) on Facebook.  I started it, in their view, by posting articles that portrayed public schools in a negative light.  I did do that, and I do have very negative views about government sponsored and controlled education, but that negativity does not extend to the teachers and others who brave the “system” day in and day out to try to improve the lives of students.   Government schooling is a given in our society, and while I will continue to do all I can to change that, I do not condemn or denigrate those who teach or those who attend public schools.  Teachers, I applaud you!  You do a difficult job (I know, I substitute in your schools!) for, often, very little recognition.  I believe the system is broken.  I believe that free-market, local-control changes in America’s educational system would better your lot and raise your value in the eyes of students and parents.  I like, admire, and appreciate you, and I could talk about the changes I dream of all day, but that is not the topic of this essay.

We just endured a very contentious election cycle.  It certainly did not turn out the way I had hoped, but what I do hope is that people’s relationships survived.  I spent (spend) a lot of time on Facebook.  What I noticed during this election cycle was a level of contentiousness that I have not seen before.  People talked about who they were blocking because they were tired of their incessant political posts.  Friends were quick to make negative, sarcastic comments on friends’ posts that did not line up with their own political beliefs.  After realizing that I was irritating a couple of my friends, I decided to create a political page for my political posts to separate my activism from my friendships.  I invited those who were interested in what I had to say politically to join, and we had a good time.  My niece said I was brilliant!  (Thank you, Lisa!)  What this experience and my current situation with my friends has me wondering is, can our relationships survive our differences in opinions, political and cultural?

We do have many divides in our society, faith vs. no faith, working moms vs. stay-at-home moms, homeschoolers vs. traditional schoolers, and conservative vs. liberal; these are just some of the ones I experience in my own life.  I have always tried to put my relationships on another plane, away from my opinions.  My family is my family and my friends are my friends. I like and respect them, even if I don’t make the same choices they do.  Is it possible to continue to do that, or must we separate ourselves into our own little enclaves where we just hang out with those who are like us and who will not be offended by our sometimes radical opinions?

I think my oldest son would say no, we do not have to separate ourselves.  In fact, I think he would say that it is becoming less likely that we will separate ourselves because we are becoming ever more connected with one another.  We had a brief conversation during his visit in August about how Facebook is facilitating connections between people who have very different views.  He thought it was a good thing, because we are staying connected with people we might not have in a previous era.  He pointed out the variety of people I talk to regularly on Facebook, the many conservative homeschoolers, of course, but also the people from my past who are much more liberal, sometimes irritatingly so, than I am.  There are many in-between types on my friend list as well, and I value all of them and want to stay connected.  How do we do that?  How do we rise above the culture of offense (I’m offended!!!) and continue to love and appreciate one another in spite of our different views?

I agree with my son; it is possible to maintain loving relationships even in the midst of vastly different personal views.  It does take a little self-discipline, grace and humility.  Here are my suggestions:

1)      1)  Grow a thicker skin.  I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it really is ok if someone disagrees with you, even about things you think are very important.  Accept the fact that people you love and who love you will have different opinions and stop being so easily offended.

2)       2)  Don't take things so personally.  It really isn’t all about you. Just because someone says something about your sacred cow, do you really think they are doing it to attack you?  And if you are pretty sure they are targeting you, ask! Many fights can be averted just by clarifying the issue.

3)       3)  Talk with your friend or family member calmly and rationally. Listen to what they have to say.  You might not agree with them, but you might learn something from the discussion.  Don’t go “all middle school girl all over them” and tell them off, block them on Facebook and stop speaking to them. If you value your relationship, talk, and even more, listen.

4)      4)  Separate yourself from the issue.  Closely related to number 2, this gives you the opportunity to ask yourself if you are over-identifying your own self-worth with an issue that people can reasonably disagree about.  For example, I homeschooled my children.  I am, or was, a homeschooler.  I am very happy about that, but I realize that the majority of people don’t  consider homeschooling an option for them and many actively oppose it.  If I was offended by everyone who did not think homeschooling was a good idea, I would spend a lot of time upset and would lose some valuable friendships.  Homeschooling was something I did, it was not who I was.  It would be unproductive to equate someone’s disapproval of homeschooling with a disapproval of me.

If you are someone who likes to post political or potentially controversial things on Facebook or other internet sites, here are some things to consider:

1)      1)  Choose your words carefully in your posts.  There are ways to say things that are clever and insightful without being offensive.

2)      2)  Use selective blocking features when they are available.  If I had known that I could block certain users from certain posts on Facebook, I would have.  Now that I do know, there are certain people I block from my more political posts.  They don’t know what they missed and I avoid offending them.  Of course, I put most of my “likely to offend” posts on my political page, where only those who want to see them get them in their newsfeed.

3)      3)  Be quick to apologize.  Even if you meant no harm, an apology is the start of reconciliation.  A meme I read online says, “Apologizing does not mean that you were wrong; it means you value the relationship more than you value being right.”  This is so true and an apology costs nothing, except for a little pride.  Most of us could do with a little less of that anyway.

4)      4)  Evaluate the importance of a particular relationship versus the importance of the statement you are making.  Are you willing to lose the relationship over your right to state your opinion or pursue your activism? Is it possible to maintain the relationship and agree to disagree? Can you find a way to not be in this person’s face over the issue?

Relationships can be maintained and even grow stronger in the face of disagreement as long as we put our love and value for each other ahead of our pride and our need to be right. “Tolerance” is such a clichéd way to address these issues – what we really need is love, unconditional love for one another. Can we demonstrate that kind of love for one another, even in the face of disagreement? I really do think so, as long as we can be humble and hold our opinions and judgments loosely.  Our friends and our family are important enough to place them above the fray and let them know that we value them – even when we don’t agree.

---Katie

Monday, September 24, 2012

Letter to Liberal Children


This is from a poster at Free Republic.  I cannot vouch for its authenticity, but it is a good read.

Here is a letter that a friend wrote to his children. He shared it with me and gave me his permission to post it. He also gives permission for any and all to use it.

Dear Heath, Laura, Shania and Zack,

Please forgive the formality of me writing a letter to my children, but my brain is so full of information and things I want to say that it is about to explode and I fear that if I don’t do something like this to organize, then edit and refine my thoughts, I will lose some important facts of the message. Even in this format I feel like I am rambling.

I have known for a while now that I needed to write this, but when it comes right down to it, it is hard to know where or how to begin. So I will just jump in with both feet and state it bluntly. Then, I will take some time to dissect my motivation which is as usual based on logic and common sense – the same logic and common sense that I try to apply to all the problems I encounter.

Anyway, after a lot of studying, reflection, praying, and an enormous amount of careful consideration I have decided that I cannot support President Obama’s re-election bid and will therefore be voting for Romney. Not that I am all that thrilled with Romney – he surely is having problems explaining his program adequately, but I don’t have the words to describe my disappointment in Obama’s performance and my sincere fear, even dread, for the survival of our country and life as we know it if Obama is re-elected.

I am providing this as food for thought. I hope you all invest sufficient time and effort to study and analyze the facts, look deep into your souls, and draw your own conclusions. If, after doing that, you are still loyal to Mr. Obama, then go vote your conscience and know that you have my blessing. After all, this is still The United States of America.

As for the reasons behind my decision, let’s start with a little background. As you know Nana and Pop-pop are lifelong Democratic liberals. So I was brought up in that environment. I never questioned it. I blindly accepted it as “The Way” and so when I reached voting age I dutifully enrolled as a Democrat. And for 35 years or so I subscribed to the Democratic ideals, always voted for Democratic Presidential candidates, and usually voted the straight Democratic ticket. But somewhere along the line things have changed. I’m not sure if it is I that changed or if it was the world that changed. To be sure in those early years I was naïve, ignorant, and just plain apathetic about the facts. But I also think the Democratic / liberal message was different back then. What I once accepted as compassion for my fellow man embodied by liberal ideals has somehow morphed into a monstrous entitlement philosophy. I no longer believe the Democratic message is compassionate at all, instead it is cynical and cruelly hypocritical. Although many of the rank and file Democrats still hold that compassion in their hearts as they blindly follow the party, the leaders of the liberal movement are only interested in trapping as many people as possible in a welfare / entitlement state of existence so they can exploit them politically for eternity. And on the opposite end of the liberal movement are those very entitlement beneficiaries, the people with their hands out all the time expecting a free ride from the government (exactly those that Romney said he could never reach). I’m convinced that if you want to see true compassion, you need to look to conservatives who are all about empowering each individual to reach his / her full potential and minimizing the obstacles to doing so. But of course that means that you need to eliminate the most of the freebies. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Suffice it to say for now that I became a Democrat by default and not through any real conscious decision.

I married your Mom, also a Democratic liberal, so naturally it follows that all of you were raised in a Democratic liberal household. But, rather than spend the next 35 years blindly pulling that Democratic lever in the polling booth, as I did, I am asking each of you now to carefully analyze everything and then to make an informed decision about your future philosophy. Are you a Democratic liberal by default or by conviction?

Anyway I promised you common sense analysis of my decision so here we go. I find myself on the “other side” of just about every action that Mr. Obama has taken. So numerous are my disagreements and disappointments in Mr. Obama’s policies that it is impossible for me to deal with all of them here. So I will concentrate on just a few of the larger issues. These issues are all interconnected, and in analyzing the issues individually and with their connections, I believe that any common sense individual will see things as I do. You can go through the exercise of extrapolating to the other less significant issues if you’re interested.

1. Small Ball: Mr. Obama is basing his campaign on “small ball”. He focuses on less than serious issues and with superb oratory flair combined with a big dose of lies and half-truths he elevates those issues to extract maximum press coverage and / or damage to the Romney campaign. It certainly helps that 90% of the press is more than happy to carry water for the President. It is unfortunate that the combined efforts of Mr. Obama and the press often sidetrack Romney from his message. In that I am disappointed in both candidates. They are playing tiddley winks while the whole world literally hangs in the balance of the larger issues that are being ignored. The talking points that are being discussed in this campaign are BS compared to what really matters.

2. Foreign Policy: Although Mr. Obama made a good and gutsy decision to eliminate Bin Laden and other terrorist leaders, his overall performance with respect to Foreign Policy sucks, especially as it concerns the Mideast and the Islamist terrorists. He is selling out our ally, Israel, and he is advancing an atmosphere that emboldens the Islamist extremists. He stands on the sidelines, never lifting a finger to prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons. He is content to support reform across the entire Moslem world and, again, stands by as a spectator as that region moves ever closer to a vast extremist dominated Moslem empire stretching across northern Africa all the way to China. This will be an empire that hates our guts and attempts to do everything imaginable to annihilate our nation. That they will have access to nuclear weapons and be in control of a good bit of the world’s energy production is even more disturbing.

Further, if you examine one of Obama’s small ball issues, the “War on Women”, just think what it would be like being a woman in such an extremist Islamist dominated society. If we’re not careful, those same extremists will also dominate America and then you will really have a “War on Women”.
Nor do I want my as yet unborn grandchildren to have to sacrifice their lives to fight again for American freedom or to have to live as slaves in such an extremist society.

3. Economy / National Debt. For Obama’s entire term in office, our economy has been in a recession. Sure they have technical metrics that indicate a recovery is in progress, but a look around at the plight of real people proves that we are still in the throes of a deep recession. Our national debt is an unmanageable $16 TRILLION of which he is responsible for a third. I am concerned again for you all and my unborn grandchildren that your generations will never be able to repay all this debt and will therefore live in servitude to your new masters. Equally concerning about the unmanageable debt is the fact that without a vibrant economy we will not have the funds to support our own defense. So while we allow enemy factions to gather strength, we are simultaneously weakening our own position on every front.

Unemployment is also connected to the economy, but I will discuss that as its own topic.

One of Obama’s economic goals is redistribution of wealth. Essentially what this means is you take money away from the wealthy (aka the successful) and distribute it among the less “fortunate” masses. On the surface it sounds like a noble and reasonable plan. As Mr. Obama says, “Everyone has a shot”. But there are several things wrong with this thinking: First of all, it is one of the precepts of communism “from each according to their ability, to each according to their need”. Second, it thwarts any incentive that people would have to improve their situation. If they need to do nothing to exist, nothing is what they will do and the country and the world would be deprived of whatever good one of these “unfortunates” might contribute to the world. Third, the so called “wealthy” do not have enough wealth to support this scheme. Forget about taxing them. Confiscate every penny they have and you still will not have enough to pay off the national debt and support the masses. Fourth, the “wealthy, successful” people who are supposed to support the rest of us will also lose their incentive. Why should they continue to push themselves to achieve new goals, create new products, make more money if everything they work for is subject to confiscation by the Government on behalf of the less fortunate. So this will compel the creation of a mediocre performing nation unequipped and unable to compete in the global market. Fifth, these “wealthy” individuals did not become wealthy by being stupid. If the Government’s plan is to confiscate their wealth and distribute it to the lazy, then surely these people will find ways to hide their wealth, or move it beyond the reach of the Government.

Let me share a quick anecdote that analogizes the “Redistribution” problem in more relatable terms. I know this will ring true for each of you because you have all been excellent and overachieving students. Suppose you walked into a college-level class being taught by Professor Obama. Now further suppose that Professor Obama taught a very demanding class. The reading load was substantial. The tests were very difficult. There were several challenging projects. But in the spirit of the diligent students that you all are, you each earned an A in the class. Now, let’s suppose that there were 2 other types of student groups in the class. One of these groups put in just enough effort to pass, but not enough to excel. They all earned C’s or D’s. And now let’s suppose that the last group of students did nothing. They rarely attended class. They failed all the tests. They did not do the projects. On the last day of class, Professor Obama passionately explains that he realizes that adequate performance in this class is a pre-requisite to advancing in the college. So, to ensure that all of his students get a “Fair Shot” he is giving everybody a C. So he has redistributed the “wealth” that you earned and bestowed it on those that do not deserve it. He is pitting the efforts of one group against the others. How would you feel about all the effort you put forth to earn your C?

One final point before I leave the economy topic. It seems that if we continue down the road we are on, then the dollar will fail. I’m afraid we are already much closer to this than we realize. In fact, some experts have studied Obama’s economic strategy objectively and stated that it almost seems that collapse of the dollar and hence the economy is his objective. I am not a world economist, but a failure of the dollar would be a crisis on an unimaginable scale.

4. Unemployment continues to hover above 8%. But, again that number is “small ball”. It is BS. That 8% does not include those that are no longer looking for work. It does not include those that have found menial employment far below their capabilities. If you were to include those folks, you would see that the unemployment number is closer to 20%. The way that I see it, the best thing, really the ONLY thing that will pull this country out of the crash landing that seems inevitable is more jobs, better jobs. But there can be no more and better jobs without a vibrant economy. We need wealthy, successful, motivated people who are willing to take a chance to get wealthier and more successful and are willing to create jobs and opportunities for the rest of us as they do. But the Obama Administration seems hell bent on preventing any meaningful job growth. They are content to allow the population to “flip burgers” when there is real work to be done. The amount of rules and regulations required of businesses to hire and maintain employees is overwhelming. Likewise, the rules and regulations on the operational aspects of businesses is also overwhelming. It’s no wonder that many would be business owners just give up.

And then there’s Obamacare. Not only will this monstrosity guarantee that unemployment will remain high because businesses cannot afford the overhead, but it will also further devastate the economy with new taxes and fees on everyone. But even with all the new taxes bringing in revenue, Obamacare will add TRILLIONS more to our national debt. And guess what… Obamacare really has little to do with Healthcare Reform, but much to do with 1984-like monitoring and control.

5. Next let’s look at Obama’s Energy Policy, or lack thereof. He has it in his mind that we can achieve energy independence with “Green Technologies”. The only problem is that Green Technologies are nowhere close to being able to deliver the energy we need to run the country. I sincerely doubt that they will ever provide even half of our energy requirements, but they are decades away from that. But Obama has already squandered another trillion or so of taxpayers dollars in foolish investments in companies that have gone bankrupt, thereby wasting those dollars. Meanwhile, fossil fuel technology has developed to a point where our country has enough proven reserves and the means to access those reserves to last for centuries. But Obama refuses to allow exploitation of these reserves. Meanwhile, at the same time, he is subsidizing, with US Dollars, oil exploration off the coasts of Venezuela and Brazil. These countries are happy to take our money, pump the oil, and then sell the oil back to us at enormous profits. Something is wrong with that logic, especially when we could be producing our own energy. And given the instability in the Arab world, it is only a matter of time before the next crisis cuts off our oil supply. We need energy independence ASAP for geo-political reasons. We need to be able to meet our own energy demands domestically. We should also position ourselves to be able to export our excess production to other countries. Nevertheless, fossil fuels are a finite resource. So we need an energy policy that moves forward on and takes advantage of all of the energy technologies. Unfortunately our history has always been to use what is cheapest and most readily available. That is not a long term strategy for survival. We do need to develop the alternative energy sources to make our fossil fuel reserves last longer and to be ready to take on an increasing percentage of the country’s energy requirements when the reserves do start to dwindle. In other words, our Energy Policy needs to be an “all of the above” strategy. Now Mr. President says that he supports an “all of the above” Energy Policy, but that again is BS. If his strategy is “all of the above”…Why are we no longer drilling offshore? Why are we not drilling for oil in all the areas where there are proven reserves? Why are we not building pipelines and refineries? Why is he putting restrictions on coal? Why has it been over 30 years since we have built a new nuclear power plant in this country?

In addition to dramatically increasing our national security, becoming self sufficient in energy will also directly create jobs, millions of them. And if we can power our industrial engine with less expensive and more stable, reliable energy, this will indirectly create millions of more jobs. All these workers will be paying taxes and it is those taxes that will start to pull America’s economy out of the gutter.

OK, so the big elephant in the room when we talk about expediting the development of fossil fuels and nuclear energy is the environment and global warming. I understand. We do need to preserve our environment, but that preservation of the environment should be a challenge that also produces millions of jobs. We also need to be able to step back and see the forest for the trees. Consider this. If we lock up our energy resources and allow our country to continue to decline, we will eventually reach a point where we can no longer defend ourselves and our enemies will overrun the country. They will have no problem exploiting our reserves and will not concern themselves one bit with the environment. So the choice seems simple. Either we take advantage of what we have and allow ourselves to reap the benefits, or we sit on it and wait for some hostile country to take it over. As I stated above, I believe we should do whatever we can to preserve and maintain the environment, but at the same time, the environmental concerns need to be secondary to our survival as a nation. Just like when doctors amputate a diseased limb in order to save a person’s life, we should be willing to accept some disturbance in the environment to save the country. So what about global warming? That’s another good and tough question. I am not a physicist or a meteorologist, or any other type of scientist capable of figuring out the riddle of global warming. But I do know that many of the scientists doing research and publishing their findings on global warming were caught fudging their results. They were altering their data to fit their conclusions. That is fraudulent and plain ass backwards. There is also another group of prominent scientists that had once been onboard with the global warming theories and who have since rejected those theories. And finally there are still other scientists who state that what we are labeling as global warming is nothing more than a cycle of high sun spot activity and that there have been times past that have experienced similarly high temperatures based on sun spot activity. Empirical observation suggests that the world is, indeed, getting warmer. But the real question is: are we contributing to that phenomena? Common sense tells me that the answer is unknowable regardless of the number of scientists involved in the research. But common sense also dictates that one of these 3 statements must be true.  Mankind is solely responsible for global warming.  Mankind has nothing whatsoever to do with global warming.  Mankind has some effect on global warming but there are other natural factors that also contribute. So, for the sake of argument, let’s assume that the first statement is true, i.e. we are solely and completely responsible for global warming. What are we going to do about that? Since green technologies are not nearly capable of meeting our energy needs, we either need to keep using the fossil fuels while we further develop the green technologies, or we crawl into a medieval hole and live the way our ancestors lived centuries ago. But let’s get real here. The same arguments that apply to the environment at large also apply to global warming. In other words, we might have to sacrifice a bit of global warming to meet our national strategic energy requirements, and if we are not willing to accept that, then the barbarians that will eventually overrun us will.

6. Finally, let me conclude with bringing this back to a quick look at the differences offered by our two candidates. Mr. Obama is well on his way to accomplishing (either by design or sheer incompetence) many of the horrors described here. He took an oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. Yet during his term “We, the People” have lost a good bit of our constitutionally guaranteed freedoms. At times he acts like he thinks he was elected dictator. When he could not get his way legitimately through Congress, he resorted to bribes and parliamentary tricks (e.g. Obamacare). Other times when he could get what he wants he issued executive orders, developed regulations, or ignored existing laws which essentially made Congress irrelevant to him. Likewise he has ignored rulings of the judiciary and just did what he wanted to do. So, rather than upholding the Constitution, he is making a mockery of it.

Would Mr. Romney be any better? Based on these facts it would be impossible for him not to be better. I do know that Romney will roll up his sleeves and get to work fixing the economy, putting people to work, creating a sound energy plan, and implementing a reasonable foreign policy. Will he succeed on all fronts and to what extent? I really don’t know, but I do know that he has a proven track record. When he ran Bain Capital he created and saved many corporations and saved many peoples jobs. When the country was about to be embarrassed because the Olympics were in jeopardy of failing, Romney stepped in and saved the entire operation. It is crazy to me that now Obama wants to vilify him for these successes.

My feeling is that anyone with an ounce of common sense should be able to distinguish the clear difference. Voting for Romney should be a “no brainer”. But, I will end this letter as I began it. Do not accept anything that I have said here on face value. Do your own homework. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. And vote your own convictions.

No matter what happens I love you and will be there for you.

Love,
Dad